But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
