"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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