areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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