would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
