so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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