I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
