Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
