Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
