Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
