how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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