so explain again why im purple
no
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
