and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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