He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
