cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
