well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
