i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
