lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
