Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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