Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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