Three words: puerto rican gang bang
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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