it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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