i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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