East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
