can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
