The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
