Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
