question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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