I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
