C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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