I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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