Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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