xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
