There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
