Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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