Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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