You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
