he puts the penis in happiness.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
