Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
