My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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