It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
