Im at strip club and am horny
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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