i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
