Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
