She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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