You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
