so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
