i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
