hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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