She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
