Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
