If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Randomize
