how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
