Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
