we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
