I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
